Following a separation, children may struggle with changes to their home and relationships with their parents. In some cases, however, one parent may believe that the other parent is deliberately undermining their relationship with the child. This is commonly described as parental alienation.
Allegations of parental alienation are serious and often arise in highly contentious parenting disputes. A parent may notice that the child has suddenly become hostile, refuses parenting time without a clear explanation, or repeats negative statements that appear to come from the other parent. There may also be repeated interference with telephone calls, exchanges, school information or important events.
Parental alienation is not established simply because a child resists parenting time. Ontario courts focus on the child’s best interests and the evidence explaining the child’s behaviour, including possible alienating conduct, justified resistance, family violence, and other causes of a strained parent-child relationship.
How Do Ontario Courts Address Parental Alienation?
Parenting disputes are decided under Ontario’s Children’s Law Reform Act or the federal Divorce Act, depending on the circumstances.
Under both statutes, the court’s only consideration when making a parenting order is the best interests of the child. The child’s physical, emotional and psychological safety, security and well-being receive primary consideration. Relevant factors include the strength of the child’s relationship with each parent, the child’s need for stability, the child’s views and preferences, each parent’s ability to communicate and cooperate, and each parent’s willingness to support the child’s relationship with the other parent. The court must also consider any family violence and its effect on the child.
For more information on what parental alienation is, click here. For additional information on how the court addresses parental alienation, click here.
Source: Divorce Act, R.S.C. 1985, c. 3 (2nd Supp.), ss. 16(1)–(3); Children’s Law Reform Act, R.S.O. 1990, c. C.12, ss. 24(1)–(3).
Keep a Detailed and Objective Record
A parent who believes that their relationship with their child is being undermined should begin documenting what is occurring. Useful records may include:
- Missed, cancelled, or shortened parenting periods;
- Unanswered telephone or video calls;
- Messages refusing parenting time;
- Interference with parenting exchanges;
- Failures to share medical, educational or extracurricular information;
- Negative statements communicated through the child; and
- Reasonable proposals made to resolve the problem.
The goal in record-keeping is to preserve evidence of what occurred, when it occurred and how the parent responded.
Source: Divorce Act, ss. 16(3)(b)–(d), (h)–(i); Children’s Law Reform Act, ss. 24(3)(b)–(d), (h)–(i).
A Child-Focused Response Can Protect the Parent-Child Relationship
A parent raising concerns about alienation should continue to attend parenting exchanges, requesting parenting time appropriately and communicating respectfully. Where parenting time is missed, a reasonable proposal for make-up time may help demonstrate an ongoing effort to maintain the child’s relationship with both parents rather than escalating conflict.
The same parent should also comply with their own responsibilities under any agreement or court order. A parent raising concerns about interference should be prepared to show that they have remained reliable, consistent and supportive of the child.
Source: Divorce Act, s. 16(3)(c), (i); Children’s Law Reform Act, s. 24(3)(c), (i).
Early Professional Assistance May Help Identify Why a Child is Resisting Contact
Cases involving a child who refuses contact can become more difficult to resolve as time passes.
Early legal and, where appropriate, clinical assistance may help identify the source of a child’s resistance. A family lawyer can help determine whether the circumstances suggest alienating conduct, justified resistance or a broader breakdown in the parent-child relationship.
A qualified family therapist or parenting professional may also help identify the source of the child’s resistance and determine whether therapeutic intervention could safely rebuild the relationship.
For more information on therapeutic intervention in parental alienation cases, click here.
When Court Intervention May Be Necessary
Court intervention may be required where one parent repeatedly refuses to follow a parenting arrangement, the child’s relationship with the other parent is rapidly deteriorating, or informal efforts have failed. The remedy that a court may grant is case-specific; a finding of alienating conduct does not produce one automatic result.
Depending on the evidence and the governing statute, a parent may ask the court to clarify or enforce an existing schedule, order make-up time, establish structured communication, impose conditions on exchanges or vary parenting time and decision-making responsibility. Under the Divorce Act, parenting orders may include requirements for parent-child communication, conditions and restrictions, participation in a family dispute-resolution process and supervision of parenting time or exchanges.
Source: Divorce Act, ss. 16.1(4), 16.1(5), 16.1(6), 16.1(8); Children’s Law Reform Act, ss. 28(1), 28(1.1).
Early Intervention Makes the World of a Difference
Parental alienation cases require a careful and measured response. A parent should avoid reacting emotionally, document specific incidents, remain consistent in seeking contact, and obtain legal advice before the child’s relationship with them deteriorates further.
Early intervention may allow the parents to establish clearer expectations and obtain appropriate professional assistance. Where the conduct continues, a family lawyer can help present the evidence and seek an order that protects the child’s stability, well-being and meaningful family relationships.
Because a child’s resistance can have different causes, allegations of parental alienation require careful analysis. The central question remains what arrangement will best protect the child’s safety, stability, well-being and important family relationships.
Source: Divorce Act, ss. 16(1)–(3); Children’s Law Reform Act, ss. 24(1)–(3).
Attention Legal Counsel: Professional Mediation Services
When your clients have reached an impasse in settlement discussions, Andrew Feldstein offers third-party mediation services specifically designed for cases where both parties have independent legal representation.
Why lawyers refer cases to Andrew:
• 30+ years of family law litigation experience providing courtroom-informed reality testing
• Expertise in complex financial matters including business valuations and professional corporations
• Efficient, structured process that respects counsel’s time and maintains client relationships
• Flexible scheduling including virtual mediation and travel to counsel offices
Cases we handle: Negotiation stalemates, complex asset division, support calculation disputes, parenting arrangements, multi-jurisdictional matters, and post separation modifications.
Refer your next mediation: Call Andrew directly at 905-415-1635 ext. 255 or email info@separation.ca. Virtual and in-person sessions available throughout the GTA.
Categories: Divorce and Separation, Parental Alienation, Parenting Time, Child Custody, Family Conflict