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Hi, I am Daphna Schwartz of Feldstein Family Law Group. I am speaking today about taking the anger out of your matrimonial issues.
You said “I do”… whether it was “I do” to marrying your spouse, “I do” to living with your partner or “I do” to having children together with another person. Two simple words…words that have now led you down the road to “I don’t”. “I don’t” want to be married, “I don’t” want to cohabit anymore. If you have children, your ongoing relationship with your former partner matters.
Only you and your partner can decide how the rest of your future and the future of your children will unfold. Will you end up in court, making the lives of your children difficult, or if you don’t have children, just making your own lives difficult? Or will you work together to build an environment for your children where they see their parents co-parenting, perhaps better than they did before? It is in both of your hands.
The path you choose to go down will have long lasting results for you, your former partner and your children. While it may be tempting to try to inflict suffering on your former spouse who you believe has done you wrong, I caution you not to do it. Especially if there are children, do not let your emotions; those of hurt, anger or betrayal, cloud your judgment. Take the hurt out and be smart about your future.
Too often there are cases where one party wants the other to “pay” for hurting them. One party feels wronged by the other party, and they argue over every last dollar forgetting that the animosity between them is increasing. This attitude will prolong the process of settlement, will be very costly, and results in a lesser ability to co- parent.
I am not suggesting that real issues are to be ignored. Cases where there is abuse, lack of cooperation by the other party, hiding of assets, refusal to pay support, require strong action. Those issues cannot be put off. Your lawyer will give you legal advice on all of the issues and recommend the proper course of action.