Support of Adult Children Still in High School

with Stephanie Ansky

Transcript from Support of Adult Children Still in High School Video

Please note: The script may not be exactly what is spoken, but contains the same information as presented in the video.

I must apologize; I promised to come back and continue my discussion about spousal support. Spousal support can wait; another area of pressing concern has presented itself, it involves our most precious assets- our children.

I am sure others from my office have very clearly and poignantly spoken about child support in the recent months. When it is paid, to whom it is paid and when it terminates. Most cases are clear cut. If a child is 18 but still in full time school, support will continue.

What about the 20 year old adult child still in High School?

One lawyer, whom I like very much, who meant no ill- will, asked me “when is your client’s son, in grade14, going to finally graduate?”

The support recipient wants support to continue until the child has finished high school and continues on in post secondary education, college, university; full time school. Most 20 year olds are either in post secondary, working or doing nothing. Support continues in the first case and stops in the latter 2 cases. No big guessing game there. Part time school sometimes poses a problem but that is not my focus for today.

I care about the 19 and 20 year olds still struggling through high school. Not the victory lap kids who need to improve their grades because they need to get into university or need extra time to plan their futures but are making the correct decision to stay in school since the loss of OAC or grade 13. I am referring to the 19 and 20 year olds that due to a learning disability are taking longer to complete their high school educations. Some have stayed in their high schools and others have opted for ALEP, alternative learning education programs, recognized by the board of education. Children who present with learning disabilities, whether verbal or non verbal, often struggle through elementary and high school. Course loads are modified based on Individual Education Plans (“IEP”). Some children have IEPs that look like a shopping list and others have less detailed ones. To obtain an IEP, almost always a psycho-educational assessment would have been completed by the school, by a hospital based program or privately. Wait lists are unacceptable for the funded testing and the private assessments are costly. The same IEP is often adjusted annually and relied upon so that the child can obtain resources within the school in the regular class, in community based classes, or withdrawn from the class for various parts of the day. Even once a child has the IEP the public schools often do not have sufficient funding for sufficient resources and the child still lags. These are the children that I refer to.

When a child has a modified program and/or are required to take less courses or credits per semester they will undoubtedly graduate later than their peers. But that is not all. We are dealing with some children who frankly feel “stupid”. They lack motivation to work at the program or even attend school due to the difficulties presented in "in class" work. These children often skip classes, have poor attendance records and some have failing grades. Are they trying? Put yourself in their shoes.

So I pose the question- as a payor of child support, should you pay support to your former spouse for the support of your 20 year old son/daughter in high school, with poor grades and a sketchy attendance record?

My Answer is yes. Is that answer supported by the case law, I am not sure yet. In a case where a child is taking longer, is attending and doing their best, judged however subjectively, to complete school, the answer is a resoundful yes. The skippers and failers are harder. They may need to repeat that course many times. What are the alternatives? To leave school with no degree or trade? That child would then be wholly dependent on the parent with whom they are residing. That is not fair to the recipient of support or to the child.

The parents really need to discuss these issues early on. As early as when a child is first identified with a learning disability and again at the time of separation. If the latter happens first before identification, the parents need to speak about it, if they cannot, then the payor should make him or herself aware of the child’s IEP, through consultation with the school. To say 10 years later “I did not know my child had a learning disability because the mother (or father) didn’t share that information with me”, is no excuse. Be in touch with teachers, doctors, etc even if the other spouse has sole custody.

One child may be completely successful at school notwithstanding a learning disability. A lawyer recently told me he had a learning disability and today he practices law. I am happy for him, he is a success story. Others are not as fortunate, Socially, these non verbal learning disabilities can be debilitating. A child can have little or no friends at school, through no fault of their own, and school is an unhappy place for them. The parent residing with the child has a big job ahead of them; educationally and socially. If the other parent maintains a close relationship with this child he or she will understand it and want to make the right decisions for their child. The money paid monthly to the support recipient is needed. The child is having difficulty, more difficulty than their peers at finishing school, struggling through what to others may be the best and easiest years of their life. Whatever the quantum of child support paid, whether it is $1,000 or $500.00 per month, payable until the child finishes school, can have an big impact on the support recipient, who would otherwise have to support this child on his or her own. The goal is to allow this child to finish high school at whatever age he or she can and continue on into college, trade school or to find a job catered to his or her needs. If this child continued in post secondary school or trade school, he or she would still be supported.

I was hoping to have data from the high schools in York region regarding the numbers of children over 18 still in high school with IEPs. Unfortunately the information has not yet been provided to me. I will work on it and get back to you.

I do have one message for all of you: these are our children, put them first.