Parental Alienation

Transcript from Parental Alienation Video

Please note: The script may not be exactly what is spoken, but contains the same information as presented in the video.

Hello, I am Jason Isenberg with the Feldstein Family Law Group. I would like to talk to you about parental alienation. Parental alienation is defined as when a child demonstrates unwarranted dislike of one parent, which has often been influenced by negative comments from the other parent.

Separation can lead to conflict between parents, and often the children are the main victims. Leading experts in Canada and the United States have identified signs that parents should be aware of when a child is being alienated from one parent by the other parent.

Access Blocking

One sign can be blocking access to the absent parent. Let’s try to put ourselves in the mind of a child. In most cases it is in the best interests of a child to have a meaningful relationship with both parents, whether they live together or not, and this is usually what exists prior to the separation. It is therefore important for a child to have contact with both parents post-separation, however too often the absent parent is actively blocked by the other parent from having access to the child. The reasons given are numerous, such as the child needs time to adjust to the change, or access can be unsettling to the child. The outcome is often an eroding of the relationship between absent parent and child that cannot so easily be repaired, which ultimately is to the detriment of the child.

Unfounded Allegations Abuse

Another sign can be false abuse allegations being laid against the absent parent. Although accusations of physical and sexual abuse can be brought forward, the most common form of false abuse allegations are examples of abuse that do not leave a mark, such as emotional abuse. Emotional abuse allegations can take different forms, such as complaining about allowing a child to watch too much tv, or concern regarding one parent introducing the child to a new partner too early after the separation. Whatever the form, the object is clear: one parent is presented as being inferior to the other parent, and not worthy of being involved in the child’s life.

Deterioration in Relationship

As mentioned earlier, most children have good relationships with both parents before separation, so what can be said when the opposite happens post-separation? If the absent parent is trying to maintain the relationship with the child, then it would be natural to assume that something happened to cause the change in the parent-child relationship. A healthy relationship between a child and parent does not just fall apart on its own, and therefore every parent should be mindful when a change has occurred.

Intense Fear Reaction by Child

The last sign to be aware of is when a child suddenly and without provocation decides to cancel an access visit with the absent parent. This can often be due to the child’s fear of losing the approval of the custodial parent. The child constantly wants to please the custodial parent, and this can be reinforced by the custodial parent making the child “choose” which parent they want to spend their time with. The child is afraid of being abandoned by the custodial parent, and as such they will make negative decisions regarding their relationship with the absent parent to maintain the approval of the custodial parent.

The aforementioned are some of the signs of parental alienation. If you believe your former spouse is attempting to alienate your child from you it is important to bring your concerns before the court as soon as possible to prevent long-term harm. Lastly, you should consider consulting with a lawyer who can assist you in bringing your concerns forward. Time is of the essence, so please act quickly.

Citations for the Parental Alienation Video

• THE FLORIDA BAR JOURNAL, VOL. 73, No. 3, MARCH 1999, p 44-48, Parental Alienation Syndrome: How to Detect It and What to Do About It, by J. Michael Bone and Michael R. Walsh
• www.canadiancrc.com/Parental_Alienation_Syndrome_Canada/Parental_Alienation